Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
