CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
