I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
