I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
