Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
