Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
