it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
