forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
