I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
