is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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