who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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