i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have feelings that need drinking.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
