Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
