Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
