a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
