When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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