Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
