You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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