Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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