I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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