i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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