Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
