Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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