i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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