This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
These tits shall not be calmed
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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