think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
