I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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