I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
