You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
