if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
