My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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