I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
