HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
