how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
