absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
