I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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