i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
