i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
