I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Let's get the cat blown out
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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