Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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