Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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