WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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