from now on my penis is your penis
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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