i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
