just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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