would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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