let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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