Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
