moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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