stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
