He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So much rum. So many feels.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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